会讲笑话的人都是有幽默感的人，有幽默感的人患上抑郁症的可能性就大为减少，接下来一起来看看幽默英语笑话带中文，看看你的幽默指数吧!
Thecruiseshipmyfriendwasworkingondocked(停驻)ataMexicanportduringaveryhightide.Everyoneonboardwasforcedtousetheship'snarrowgangplank(跳板，踏板)asapassagewaytothedockfarbelow.Thestaffstoodmotionlesswhenapassengerinher70sappearatthetopoftheplank(厚木板，支架).Therewasn'troomforanyonetoassisther,sosheedgedalongslowlyandfinallymadeittothedocksafely,toeveryone'srelief.Asshesteppeddown,sheturned,lookedbackatthetopoftheplankandshouted,"It'sokay,Mother,youcancomedownnow."
Fourbestfriendsmetatthehospitalsincetheirwivesweregivingbirthstotheirbabies.Thenursecomesuptothefirstmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottwins."Themansaid"Howstrange,I'mthemanagerofMinnesotaTwins."Afterawhilethenursecomesuptothesecondmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottriplets."Manwaslike"Hmmm,strangeIworkedasadirectorforthe"3musketeers."Finally,thenursecomesuptothethirdmanandsays
"Congratulations,yougottwinsx2."Manishappyandsays,"Ironic,Iworkforthehotel"4Seasons."Allthreeofthemarehappyuntiltheyseetheirlastbuddyjumpingallovertheplace,cursingGodandbanginghisheadonthewall.Theyaskedhimwhat'swrongandheanswered,"What'swrong?Iworkfor7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Dickwassevenyearsold,andhissister,Catherine,wasfive.Onedaytheirmothertookthemtotheiraunt'shousetoplaywhileshewenttothebigcitytobuysomenewclothes.
Thechildrenplayedforanhour,andthenathalfpastfourtheiraunttookDickintothekitchen.Shegavehimanicecakeandaknifeandsaidtohim,"Nowhere'saknife,Dick.Cutthiscakeinhalfandgiveoneofthepiecestoyoursister,butremembertodoitlikeagentleman."
"Likeagentleman?"Dickasked."Howdogentlemendoit?"
"Theyalwaysgivethebiggerpiecetotheotherperson."answeredhisauntatonce.
"Oh"saidDick.Hethoughtaboutthisforafewseconds.Thenhetookthecaketohissisterandsaidtoher,"Cutthiscakeinhalf,Catherine.".
迪克年龄七岁,他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁.一天,妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩,自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服.
孩子们玩了个把小时,在四点半的时候,姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房.她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子,并对他说：“喏,迪克,给你刀子,把这块蛋糕一切为二,给你妹妹一块.不过,你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样.”
迪克问：“像一个绅士?绅士怎样做呢?”
他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的.”
迪克说了一声“噢”.他对此想了一会,然后,他把蛋糕拿给妹妹,并对她说：“凯瑟琳,你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧.”
Twoguysareouthuntingdeer.Thefirstguysays,"Didyouseethat?"
两个人去猎鹿。第一个人说：“你看见了么?”
"No,"thesecondguysays.
“没有。”第二个人说。
"Well,abaldeaglejustflewoverhead,"thefirstguysays.
“好吧，一只秃鹰刚刚从我们头顶飞过。”第一个人说。
"Oh,"saysthesecondguy.
“哦。”
Acoupleofminuteslater,Thefirstguysays,"Didyouseethat?"
几分钟以后，第一个人说：“你看见了么?”
"Seewhat?"thesecondguyasks.
“看见什么?”第二个人问。
"Areyoublind?Therewasabig,blackbearwalkingonthathill,overthere."
“你瞎了么?一只大黑熊在山上跑呢，就那儿!”
"Oh."
“哦。”
Afewminuteslaterthefirstguysays:"Didyouseethat?"
几分钟后第一个人又说;“你看见了么?”
Bynow,thesecondguyisgettingaggravated,sohesays,"Yes,Idid!"
这个时候，第二个人已经不耐烦了，所以他说;“是的，我看见啦!”
Andthefirstguysays:"Thenwhydidyoustepinit?"
第一个人说;“那你还往上踩?”